Thinking Aloud

Reasons wedding is capital intensive

Wedding! The mention of it can send shivers down the spine of a prospective groom. Wondered why many a marriageable age have not walked down the aisles: wedding is a social project which is capital intensive. Today, it has become a massive project that requires huge capital investment with no guaranteed return. How capitally intensive is a wedding?

Prior to the wedding is the introduction, which today has become so elaborate that it gulps up a considerable amount of money. In the past, the introduction is just a formal forum where the families of a prospective couple get to know each other. Today, it has taken a twist. It has assumed the status of a mini-social gathering, with attendance nearing 30 or more! That alone involves some spending because those in attendance are to be fed. 

If introduction has become so elaborate, the traditional wedding, popularly referred to as engagement, is too elaborate, time-consuming and, sometimes, flippant and frivolous. The groom becomes a proverbial cow that is milked dry. The masters of ceremonies, mostly women, make ridiculous financial demands from the groom during the traditional wedding. He could be asked for money for a supposed flight ticket for the arrival of the bride, and asked to contribute all the naira denominations, save coins, for prayers. This is even after he had purchased items required for the traditional wedding rites. 

There is also the pressure to stage a wedding befitting societal standard. This pressure can be so unbearable if the couple have socialites as parents. It is then made worse if there is no financial support from these demanding parents. To succumb to this is to have a huge debt-profile that becomes the first project of the new family to offset. At the reception the musician who sings to the praise of the groom, "You're free to dance since you are not indebted to anybody," knows too well that he is a sheer propagandist, because, even he (the musician) is promised his balance after the wedding. In an effort to 'make money', the dance floor becomes a business venture or a medium to reduce the incurred wedding debt. The couple then dance to the delight of well-wishers and attendees so that they can be doled handsome cash! 

In addition to this is uncontrolled guests. When planning for the typical Nigerian social event, the number of guests cannot be anticipated. Nigerians have a culture that is unduly sympathetic to unwanted guests. A friend can decide to attend a social with two of his or her friends who have not been invited by the celebrant. It is made worse when those in attendance make it an obligation to eat to fill and have another as take away. As a result, complaint of not being served food or drinks, or food not being enough, is the norm during or after socials. 

The Nigerian celebrant still goes out of his or her way to impress guests by sharing souvenirs—jotters, torches, plates, cups, wall clocks, buckets, SIM cards, mugs. It is a way of appreciating guests, and this comes at a cost, too. 

Inter-tribal marriage also comes at a stupendous cost too! It is reported that it is the norm in some ethnic groups in Nigeria to make excessive monetary demands from prospective grooms. In the same vein, in a situation where the intending couple are not gainfully employed, raising funds for wedding can be tedious. Still, they want to enjoy the blessedness of the marriage institution. Such is the irony! 

A wedding was announced in a church, to the dismay of the congregation. The announcement was clear. "Bro is getting married to Sis; if you have the intention to come and eat, please stay away," the assertive voice of the pastor filled the half-filled auditorium. Hearing this, I nodded and wondered why many marriages cannot be simply contracted in this 'unfashionable' way.